Unraveling the Gap | Pulling Thread

Since the youth of today are very exposed to the latest mental health information, they are more likely to be conscious of issues related to mental health. However, because this information is being distributed online rather than in the workplace, it has proved much more challenging to educate the older portion of society. As a result, gaps and conflicts between generations, especially in the realm of mental health, have widened and become so complex that we must now work to unravel them every day. Working toward this goal, here is how we as the youth can better communicate our knowledge on mental health to people from older generations.

Make a Stronger Connection

Digital technology has transformed interpersonal relationships, particularly family life relations, in recent times (Cabalquinto, 2020). More specifically, the way families interact and manage relationships within the household has shifted from the norm of in-person dialogue to our contemporary dependence on portable devices. Smartphones and other digital devices have become essential in communication, as some people think that digital communication can achieve the same outcomes as face-to-face communication. However, digital interaction does not foster meaningful relationships and intimacy in the same way that face-to-face communication does.

While both communication methods allow you to talk with other people, each brings a vastly different experience. Digital communication makes it convenient and accessible to send messages in just one click. You can express yourself through emojis, letter variations, or even different fonts.

The digital world tends to lack the unspoken elements of connection.

With face-to-face communication, you are able to foster understanding and build a bond with the person you are talking to. You can read body language and watch for visual signs that indicate whether the person you are talking to is genuinely listening, needs assurance, or comprehends what you are talking about. Eye contact allows you to establish credibility, trust, and loyalty (Knight et al., 2014). Speaking in person will also enable you to use your tone of voice to clarify your message and avoid misunderstandings.

As it is still not safe to go outside due to the COVID-19 pandemic, we encourage in-person communication primarily in household settings. Do not unnecessarily risk the spread of the virus in pursuit of in-person communication. Safety comes first.

Understand the Other Side

It is not uncommon for people, particularly those belonging to older generations, to express negative comments to younger generations seeking professional help for their mental health. Many people still think that mental illness is a sign of weakness, a scheme to draw attention, a disease that only adults can experience, or an affliction with no chance for recovery. These beliefs can lead people to say things like, “it’s all in your head,” “kaartehan lang yan,” or “baliw,” and often tend to create long-lasting conflict between people of different generations. Though it is easy to quickly judge and totally dismiss the people who make these comments, we must first understand where they are coming from.

Ask yourself, “Why do they see mental health that way?” Maybe they have received the wrong information or do not fully understand something. Think about the time in which they grew up and consider why it might be difficult for them to question what their parents or grandparents or teachers may have taught them. They may not have been exposed to accurate or up-to-date information on mental health the way we, the youth of today, have. Instead of dismissing them completely, we must make the extra effort to understand exactly what they think and why they think that way before we can start sharing what we know.

Speak Up

Once you have understood their side, it is time for you to speak up. Be open and honest, but think before you speak. Use ordinary, everyday language that anyone could understand, and try to avoid jargon that they might not know about yet. Oftentimes, the precise terminology and fast-paced tone that is common to the youth can feel daunting and alienating to someone from a different generation. It can even make people feel as though they are being talked down on and leave them confused, even when our intentions are good. Speaking slowly and simply will help us to be more tactful and to combat insensitive negativity with compassionate positivity.

Slow Down

All people have trouble taking in information that is different from what they already believe is right, and no generation is exempt from this. When talking about what mental health is like today, take your time and try to give them information little by little. Give them sufficient time to process what is being suggested. If they make a mistake, don’t be afraid to correct them, but always make sure to do it with the utmost respect. If you are unsure what to say next or how to say it, remember that you don’t have to respond straight away. Take the time and think about it first. Do your research if needed, and get back to them when you know you can answer the question accurately and kindly.

Don’t pressure yourself to fix everything quickly.

Not everyone will immediately react well to their beliefs being challenged, and some may react impulsively, dismissively, or emotionally. If you respond back aggressively and try to force them to understand everything in just one snap, they may feel disrespected and become less likely to open their mind to your ideas. Feeling rushed often leads people to think that they are not being understood or recognized (Law et al., 2019). It may even bring them to think of you as self-centered or to question the purpose of your conversation.

Going slower will give them enough time to take in and adequately comprehend what you are saying. If you give them time to discuss their concerns, it will also allow you to understand them better and improve communication. Encourage questions, and make sure not to let them feel that any of their questions are “dumb” or “pointless” because, even if the answer may seem obvious to you, it might not be obvious for them. This may be hard, and we may feel that we are not making any progress, but know that great things take time. Small efforts repeated day by day comes with success, and if we persevere towards our goal, we can truly eliminate the stigma surrounding mental health, one person at a time.

Trust the Process

There are times when you will feel helpless, as if no one can understand what you are going through, none of your efforts actually made a difference, and there is no one around to support you. In those difficult times, trust that there will always be someone out there to help you respond to your situation with positive and constructive actions. Trust that you can break out of the vicious cycle and that things will get better.

Keep sharing what you know and expressing how you feel, and other people will eventually see the truth about mental health. Connecting across different generations will enable people of all ages to develop a greater understanding of each other and of this crucial subject. People will slowly develop different perspectives on all the ways that mental health can influence a person’s life and finally see how impactful mental illness can be to those struggling with it. One thread at a time, we can pull apart the fabric of conflict and miscommunication and finally unravel the gap.

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Contributors

Written by Penelope Dela Cruz

Edited by Grace Catan

Research gathered by Reinier Navarro

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